Say Something Positive: How Self-Talk Affects Your Attitude

Most people carry on a silent conversation with themselves during much of the day.  This "self-talk" has a direct effect on your thoughts and behaviors.  Understanding self-talk and its effects on you can help you learn to rewrite your own self-talk "script" and maintain a positive mental attitude.

Positive or Negative

You've probably heard the term "self-fulfilling prophecy."  Self-talk is very much like a self-fulfilling prophecy - something you think about so much you can actually make it happen.  When your self-talk is positive – “things will work out," “I know I can do the job"- you are giving yourself permission to succeed, and chances are, you will.  When your self-talk is negative – “I know I'll have a terrible time”, ”I'm not good enough to be a supervisor"- you're giving up on yourself and chances are you won't even try to succeed.  Often your self-talk reflects the values and behaviors you learned as a child, and the self-esteem you now have as an adult.

Thoughts and Behaviors

Self-talk can direct your thoughts and behaviors.  If you think, “I know I can do the job," you'll be more willing to apply. During the interview, you'll be more likely to exhibit confidence in yourself and your abilities, and have a better chance at success.  But if you say to yourself, “I'll never get hired for the position," you may not even apply, guaranteeing that you won't get the job.

Physical and Mental Effects

Negative self-talk can increase your distress, and can make effects such as headaches or stomach pain much worse.  It can also encourage you to behave in self-destructive ways that further distress your body. (“No one cares, so why shouldn't I have another drink?")  Fortunately, positive self-talk can have the opposite effect, leading to a confident, positive attitude.

Rewrite Your Script

Learn to listen to your own self-talk. Note your automatic response to ideas. For example, a new, difficult assignment is given by your professor; you think, “I can't do this. It's too difficult. I don't know how to do this assignment."  Rewrite your mental script in a positive way.  You could say to yourself, “Look at the challenge. This assignment, regardless of how difficult it may seem, gives me an opportunity to learn new skills. I don't have to do it perfectly."  Practice choosing positive self-talk.  You'll feel happier and more confident.

Copyright, Parley International, 1990
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