Watching the new Pixar movie “Inside Out” (you can see the official trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIDYqBMFzfg) is a delight! In many ways it is a dream for the psychologically-minded, and is given a great summary and analysis by Dr. Janina Scarlet (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/beyond-heroes-and-villains/201506/inside-out-emotional-truths-way-pixar).
As I watched the film, I found myself wanting to talk to the characters, both the family members and the emotions. I felt I could provide some support, as well as clarify a few concepts and help guide some behaviors.
The Anderson family, who are loving and supportive, show signs of stress after they make a major move. If I had a couple of family therapy sessions with them, I would provide support by normalizing that moves are challenging, and there are many different experiences and emotions for everyone involved. There is the excitement of what is being gained, exploring a new place, meeting new people, developing new friendships, establishing new routines. There are also losses from leaving the familiar behind, beloved people as well as school, jobs, activities of all kinds. The multiple adjustments necessitated by a move can be demanding and exhausting, conditions in which it is rare for people to be their best selves. It is a time to be particularly gentle with one another, and yourselves.
Mr. Anderson banishes Riley to her room for having an outburst at the dinner table on her first day at her new school. I longed to stop the action and talk to him about being the emotion-coaching parent he was in earlier parenting scenes, encouraging Riley to express what happened that day, and how she was feeling about it. She was in pain and needed understanding, not punishment. Feelings – all of them – live in the mind, as so beautifully portrayed, and the more they can be identified, acknowledged, and felt, the more balanced the person having them will feel. Suppressing one emotion, as tempting as that is (who really wants to feel sad?) is not a good strategy, because you cannot suppress selectively: ‘no’ to one emotion means ‘no’ to all of them (do you really want to give up joy?) If the parents had listened to Riley talk about her day, validated her feelings, and given her some encouragement, she would have remained at the table, and it would have been a happier moment for the family. BUT, we would not have had the opportunity to go on the adventure with her emotions that then ensued…
Sadness makes a comment to Joy to the effect, “The subconscious, that’s where they take all the troublemakers!” The subconscious is the part of the mind that is not in our full awareness, but it influences what we do and how we feel. By definition, we do not know everything that is in the subconscious. All of life’s experiences, positive, negative and neutral, may reside in this domain, creating a trove of treasures as well as the so-called “troublemakers”. Psychodynamically-oriented therapies, among others, include the effort to uncover aspects of the unconscious in order to help the client develop a better understanding of the self, thereby enabling growth and change.
Finally, I was bemused by the reference to ‘abstract thought” as something to be avoided. Abstract thinking is higher level thinking, one in which the person can conceptualize and reason beyond the concrete, a type of thinking that is invaluable in much problem-solving. That said, I found it adorable when Joy and Sadness became like abstract paintings, angular and humorous variations of their concrete selves. And, Piaget said that abstract thinking first becomes possible around age 11, so Riley may not be ready to dabble in that just yet.
My overall advice is – go see this movie, feel all of your feelings, appreciate your subconscious, and think abstractly when you want to solve a perplexing problem!